we will get along until we're old and gray

Okay, so here are the pics I promised...and more!
















These are from the pre-exam night festivities at Kent's last Thursday night. Nate is in the floor studying for his exam. Kent is preparing the amazing dessert. You'll see our glorious spread of bang!bang!shrimp!, salad, sweet potatoes, tomatoes and rolls. All was amazing. Just wanted to make sure Kent got big props for the wonderful meal! Thanks so much for letting us stay and babysitting the avenger this weekend.


We had a great Easter. Nathan, Zak, and I went to the church that my family grew up in. It was amazing how little had changed. It made me appreciate where I came from and also how I have grown. Good times.


Then we had Easter lunch at Mamaw Brewer's. Although I snacked some on homemade spinach dip while setting things up (really worth the points), I did very well food-wise at lunch. I don't remember everything I ate, but I do remember figuring up that I had 14 points on my plate and didn't even eat everything (mainly chicken salad, corn, a roll, a little turkey and a little dressing). I had no dessert. When we got back to Nate's mom's, I had 4 little chocolate eggs (like smaller than hershey kisses). Nate's dad had even more of my favorite chocolate eggs, where I grabbed a handful mindlessly. I had the first one in my mouth, mentally reviewed the reasons I want to be thin, and put the rest of them in Nate's hand. It felt like such a huge success. We didn't really have dinner since I'm not hungry yet. I think with my snacking pre-lunch and my Starbucks drink (I'm choosing not to quit them!), I'm right at points today. Yay!!


Tomorow is the beginning of Week 2 of the Beck Diet Solution. My task for today/tomorrow is to make a plan of what I will eat tomorrow and stick to it exactly. Since I took some liberties this weekend, I am only eating 25 points tomorrow instead of my usual 28. My lunch is huge to prepare me for not eating dinner until 6. This is what tomorrow will look like:


Breakfast (6 points):
Starbucks drink (4)
Banana (2)

Lunch (10 points):
Spinach, apples, oranges (2)
1/8 cup walnuts (2)
2 tbsp raspberry dressing (2)
turkey wrap (4)

Dinner (6 points):
Grilled tilapia (2)
grilled potatoes (4)
grilled tomatoes (0)

Snack (3 points):
Strawberries (1)
Fiber 1 Bar (2)

Exercise:
3 miles on treadmill

Nate is my diet coach, so he is going to be keeping me accountable. You are invited to do the same! I am excited about planning my meals out again. I know that and exercise is what helps me be successful.

Have a happy Monday!

hold me closer, Tony Danza

I'm back!

The last few days have been great! We had an amazing dinner at Kent's on Thursday night. Shrimp (bang! bang! sauce!), sweet potatoes, tomatoes, and pineapple on the grill. Yumm. (Pictures to come when I get the pics off the camera.) Friday's highlight was Nathan killing his library test. Go Nate!

I went to Weight Watchers on Friday. I lost a whopping .6 pounds. Whooptie. I knew I had been watching for a few weeks, so I didn't expect the typical week 1 loss. Oh well. I am very impressed with my attitude so far, though. I'm not discouraged. I'm just motivated to exercise more this week. I really think that my attitude and encouraging self-talk are helping me stay on track. Nate's mom fixed Easter dinner last night, and I had one pretty small plate. She was going to cook a big breakfast this morning, but I fixed and split a banana peanut-butter wrap with Ralph's granddaughter. And, as we speak, I am not eating one of Dad's homemade waffles. I'm just not hungry. And I don't feel cheated or angry. Go me!

I found an Easter dress on Thursday. It still came from Lane Bryant. The fat store. But I decided it was more important to buy a dress that fit instead of buying a dress that I was uncomfortable in. I'll also be able to wear it to Luke's wedding. It's a wraparound dress, so it'll be a little more wearable than the typical dress as I continue to shrink. I'm sure I'll post Easter pics.

I'll be spending today in the kitchen. I'm going to make chicken salad for the big Easter dinner tomorrow. It'll be nice to know exactly how many points are in something. I'm sure I'll eat other things too, but at least with my chicken salad, I'll know. Then Mom and I are making stewed tomatoes. Dad is making spinach dip in a bread bowl and other random loaves of bread. I am so excited. I love being in the kitchen. And tonight is Mom's spaghetti. It is so good. I'll count it, don't worry.

It's nice to be at home with the parents and the brothers. Zak's in from Kansas and Nick is here before work. I feel like a kid again.

Have a happy Easter!

just say you'll wait for me

Just a quick note to say that dinner at Shakertown was awesome. As was our service. Even though the special was a pork in apple cider sauce, I stuck with my initial plan to have the baked trout. It was a good thing too...the apple cider sauce was actually a very creamy cream sauce. I replaced my favorite creamy tomato soup for cucumbers in red wine vinegar for the appetizer. I did not have any cornbread. The main course was really good. The trout was exactly like I wanted, the green beans were fresh, and the baked peaches didn't appear to have a glaze or anything drippy on them. I did have three very small yeast rolls, which put together may have been the size of a usual dinner roll. I had no desire for dessert. Even when we talked about getting birthday ice cream with our friends. Even after we stopped at Walmart and bought Weight Watcher mini-cups of ice cream, I only ate about half of mine (1 point!) because my desire for sweets was quenched.

The most impressive thing was that I did not feel cheated. The bite I had of the pork was awesome (thanks Nate!), but keeping with my fish increased my confidence because I stuck with my plan. I did not finish my fish or my peaches, and that was fine. I ate until I was comfortably full. And the sense of satisfaction I left with was so much better than any meal I've ever eaten. I can do this. I can make healthy choices. I am making healthy choices.

So check out the responses to my posts...The lady who wrote the Beck Diet Solution actually commented on my last post! She made a great point. I do not want to give up my starbucks drink. I am making it work within my meal plan and points allowance. If I wanted to, I could. I've done it before, several times actually. I'm just not willing to let go of it right now. I don't know why I make such a big deal of it in my head anyway. I guess at times I think there is something wrong with being "addicted" to caffeine. I do get the headaches when I stop. But lost of people drink pop/soda/coke. Atleast my beverage of choice has 20% of my calcium needs!

I am seriously loving the book, though. It's changing my thinking in such a powerful way. And I so appreciate her feedback. It's crazy that people I don't know read my blog. And crazy that people that I do know read my blog. I never thought my blog would take off like this - I never thought it would have such an impact on me. I feel like I am accountable (in a good way) to each of you. Knowing that you believe in my helps me believe in myself.

In case I am not blogging the next few days (the whole out of town thing), don't forget about me! Have a happy happy Easter!

count the headlights on the highway

Happy Birthday my love! I hope you loved the card and Lemonheads. Dinner will be amazing.

I have had a great day today. It is beautiful and sunny, and about 25 degrees cooler than yesterday. I had my employment evaluation this morning, and he had nothing but awesome things to say about me. If there's one thing I do well, it's my job. I love what I do, I love the kids I work with, and I pour my heart into my job. It's good to hear praise.

I've also had a great day food-wise. Started the day with half a peanut butter-banana wrap and a starbucks drink (I can't give them up!) . More chicken salad in a wrap with 6 triscuits for lunch. Snack was a Fiber 1 bar and a glass of milk. That leaves me with 7 daily points and over 20 weekly points left. And I can have fish as my meat tonight and be able to enjoy dinner. I am so excited about dinner. You'd think it was my birthday or something.

I am excited to see Kent tomorrow. (I'll call you around 4:30.) And to see all the family at home this weekend. Nate has his big library test Friday (for his Masters) so send good thoughts his way!

don't wanna forget come daylight

Happy day before Nathan's Birthday! Tomorrow we are having dinner at Shakertown. Very exciting. And I've eaten well enough today and yesterday that I feel I can manage a nice dinner out. Besides, I know I can just get the fish and veggies and be generally okay. (Oh, but then there are yeast rolls!)

Today was a good day. I ate really well. I got really hungry about half an hour ago. I know it was boredom hunger, but I was still hungry. I ate strawberries. Still the Starbucks drink and banana for breakfast (I was running late...more on that later). Chicken salad on spinach for lunch (so incredibly yummy) and this beautiful pizza concotion for dinner. I had a fiber one bar and a glass of milk for dessert. And then a cup of strawberries. So I stayed within my points for the day (if you count 1 point for the strawberries = 40 minutes of yardwork). Yay me!

Nathan and I planned on going for a walk this evening, but the storm hit quicker than we had anticipated. So we just cut down weeds (not pulled them out, but cut them in half and doused them with weed killer). It was work in it's own way.

Oh yes, almost late for work today. I had big plans to make this peanut butter-banana-honey wrap thing for breakfast this morning. Usually it doesn't matter if I'm a few minutes late for work, and it's a good thing because I'm usually 10 minutes later than my anticipated arrival time. But I had to be on time today because today was my evaluation (with my big 2.7% increment on the line). We were supposed to meet at nine, so I was there by 8:30, just to get everything in line. So he comes in at 9:40. I say nothing. Later in the day, he asks if we can do my evaluation tomorrow, to which I respond, "I thought it was today?" He gives me this story about how he didn't sleep very well last night and decided to sleep in a little. I wish I had those kind of allowances. I guess that's a perk of being the boss.

But no bitterness (okay, just a little) because I have a great weekend ahead of me. Tomorrow is a great day for our little family (the big 2-9 for Nate!). Then Thursday, we're heading to Lexington for the evening (I'll probably be in town about 4, Kent. But I was thinking of getting a pedicure, so I'll call you when I'm ready to come over. What time is good for you?). Nate has his big exam Friday morning (you'll rock baby!), then shopping and going back to good ol' Greenup for the Easter weekend. Zak will be in from Kansas. I am just very excited. I do wish we would be in our home church for Easter morning, but I'm sure I'll be inspired wherever we go.

I realize I may have sounded sad about the semi-retirement of my shoes. I am not sad. I paid good money for them, and they are for running. I love them, thus I must respect their purpose in life. And I am silly enough that wanting to wear them (and run in them!) will inspire me to keep up my habits. Yeah, I am inspired by shoes. I'm not logical.

Oh, for any fellow Alanis Morissette fans out there (and anyone who knows her has noticed many references to her in post and blog title), this video is hilarious.

I read a quote today that has really stuck with me. Some people dream of success...others get up every day and work at it. I am working at it. And this is helping. So thank you for reading.

running to stand still

I've made a decision that pains me greatly. Partially because I am in pain. I have decided to put off this running thing for 25 pounds. I ran at the park in Danville today, and had a lot of difficulty. I made the first half of the runs with relative ease. I was feeling really good. But then I started to lose feeling in my left foot, but I ran through it. Then I got an impressive cramp in the left leg. That's been two hours ago, and the cramp is still there. I think I need to take this slow. And I know I could run on a treadmill, but that's not what I want. I want to be outside. And if walking is what I can do outside, then walking is what I will do. Due to spending an outrageous amount of money on my "running" shoes, I am putting them away until I am in in fact running. See you soon, my beautiful Saucony ProGrid Triumph 4s!

My plan is to walk a lot, as often as I can, and improve the muscle tone in my legs. Hopefully that will go along with losing weight. I am sure that I will be a runner when I have less of myself to carry around. I am aiming to be running again by our anniversary, July 19. I think it is feasible to lose 25 pounds in that amount of time.

Especially considering the way I have been eating today. I really wish I would have taken food pictures today. I have done so well! I started the day with a Starbucks drink for breakfast. (It's Monday and I didn't want to resist, and I counted it.) Lunch was a peanut butter and banana sandwich and applesauce. I had a mini york patty as a snack. For dinner I had 2 eggbeaters and 1/4 cup 2% cheese in this flatbread stuff (that has a ton of fiber and is really good) and some grape tomatoes. I just had a bowl of Wheat Chex to round out my day. I feel really good about it. But, man, is my left knee-and-below unhappy.

Tomorrow is going to be a great food day. Starting the day with banana and peanut butter wrapped in the flatbread. I'm getting ready to make chicken salad (yummm!) that I'll eat on a bed of spinach. Dinner is still up in the air, but we've got fish here if we decide to cook. I'm very excited. I love the way it feels when I can control my life to the point of being able to control my food choices. I'm a little nervous about being at Nate's Mom's this weekend, but if I need to I can go to the store when we get there. It'll be fine. I just have to think about the running shoes that await me!

I am still reading Judith Beck's The Beck Diet Solution. At this point, I am absolutely loving it. I am too cautious to report that it is life shattering until I work the program for a while. What I really like about it is that it works with any diet, and she is a real therapist who just tweaks the skills we are taught to make them apply to losing weight. I am really enjoying it so far, and am starting to see a change in my thinking. I'll keep you updated as I stick with it.

I just feel so much better than yesterday. Even with the running postponement.

Time to make chicken salad! Have a great night and tomorrow!

i wanna be that complete

Today was not a good day for food. Ate nothing until 5ish, and then had Sonic. Although I only went 3 points into my weekly reserve, that's really bad since all I ate was Sonic, 3 triscuits, and string cheese. But we found Nate a suit for his brother's wedding, so we got something accomplished.

The sermon this morning was really good. Mike spoke of palms being our blessings and willows being our struggles and pain. He spoke of how God can turn today's willows into tomorrow's palms if we are patient and trusting and true.

I am hungry, so I am going to bed. Tomorrow is a new day!