whatever you do, don't put the blame on you

binge: a period or bout, usually brief, of excessive indulgence, as in eating, drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.; spree.

Does a cookie, brownie, chess square at lunch and four small pieces of pizza and two small pieces of dessert pizza count as a binge? (They really were small, from Giovanni's pizza buffet). If so, consider me binged.

I am so frustrated. All it took was a Lofthouse cookie (which I only at 3/4 of) and I was off. All good habits were out the window. It is a combination of still losing miniscule weight and the fact that sugar tastes so stinking good. I was amazed at how I crashed from my sugar high. About an hour after my sugar rampage, I was incredibly tired and sleepy, and stayed that way until I went to bed an hour earlier than usual.

But, of course, I do see growth. I stopped eating after the pizza attack. I did not continue to snack when I got home. No cereal, yogurt, fruit, triscuits, nothing. And today I feel okay. I'm not discouraged enough to quit. I am living in the gray area. I know there will be good days and bad days. I have not and I will not give up.

And this "binge" is still better than my eating habits of 2 months ago. It's back to my original goal of this blog: to respect my body and write down everything that I ate. Respecting my body means loving myself even if my weight does not respond. And I wrote everything down, or at least I acknowledged the bad here. Did I mention that my chicken salad was a total hit at the potluck? Other than the sugar, I had a chicken salad pita and grape tomatoes at the luncheon. I avoided the potato wedges and fried chicken fingers. That's success, eh?

I think I am going to go to Weight Watchers this Thursday night with Courtney and Katie. It's going to be difficult because they have little to lose, but that's okay. I need someone (hopefully a leader) that I can identify with, and I'm willing to give this a shot. Last time I did Weight Watchers I lost 49 pounds. I can do it again. Or get healthy trying.

I ordered two books from Amazon that I hope will keep my motivated. One is by a real psychologist, and I think it will help me. The other I don't even remember, I just wanted super saver shipping. But it's diet related too.

I got my new wardrobe from Old Navy and started trying it out yesterday. I love dressing in the summer. I just feel so cute in skirts and tees and flip flops. Today, though, there is rain. So I'm wearing gray and blue with these cute little flats that were made for winter but are too cold for winter. They are really cute shoes, and they work with my outfit.

The title is a lyric flashback related to the weather. Anyone know the reference? Anyone?

Gotta go before my bathwater gets cold. I'm off to work for a short day! I'm off at 5 instead of 6 (but I'm going in at 9, so it's the same length, just finishing earlier.) So have a great Wednesday!