a hole in my pocket that's about her size

Yes, I have been absent. I had the intention to figure things out. That still hasn't happened. But I have been gone long enough. I know this is the best place for me to figure things out. So I'm back.

I think it is important for me to explain why I was gone. I have a new friend from work. We've been good friends for about 3 months. I really like her. She provides tough love and pushes me. I share with her most of my "plans." I tell her that I won't wear my ring unless I work out. I tell her that I am seriously only having one Starbucks product a day. I tell her that I am bringing my lunch every day this week. I tell her that I am going to stay away from the mini Reese cups that inhabit the same drawer as our office supplies at work. Basically I make all the claims to her that I make here.

She has also lost 40 pounds or so since the fall. She's had some health problems, and in her commitment to her health, she's become a smaller person. I really admire her commitment and that she has given up red meat and dairy and fried foods.

So we were sitting at Starbucks one day for our mid-day coffee break. And she called me a liar. A liar. She said, in a joking but calling-me-out way, that she was tired of hearing about what I was going to do but then not follow through with. That was really hard for me to hear. And that has really sat on me for a while. She is my friend. My real-life friend. She struggles with her weight. And she called me out, and I did not have an adequate response.

I was unable to think of a reason, then, that I should subject my fellow bloggers to my "lies." So I avoided my blog for a while. And I avoided reading all but a few of my fellow bloggers. In the meantime, I did okay. I have eaten pretty well. My weight is stable. I am exercising about three times a weeek. My house is clean. I am cooking regularly again. I am still letting my hair grow. I am really enjoying this spring in ways I don't remember enjoying season changes in the past. My grandfather's health has been touch-and-go the past few weeks, but I think I have handled that pretty well too.

I have been looking for a reason to get back to blogging. I have been looking for some truth to spout back to you guys - something other than the "lies" I don't follow up with.

And then, today, I have a reason. I beat her in putt-putt. I actually beat her, her friend, and my husband. So there. I'm not back because I had an epiphany, or because I lost a pound, or because I found a new exercise I love. I'm back because I kicked the ass of my reason for not blogging. And she knows none of this. (I told you I had a blog - did you find it?)
So, guys, thanks for sticking with me. I'm not making any empty promises today, but I'm sure they are not far behind. All that matters is that I'm back!

(And I'm really looking forward to outlet shopping on Saturday!)