Tuesday, January 8, 2008

when you think that all is lost

Sorry guys. There will be no food pictures today. I'm just not feeling it.

Why?

My wallet got stolen.

Have I mentioned that I work in foster care and there are constantly a stream of kids in and out of our office? Yeah. And now one of those kids has $50 and my identity. Great.

I feel like this is all my fault. I quit my job, finishing on Friday. I quit my nice, professional, well-paying job for a job working catering at a restaurant that probably pays peanuts. Not a lot of financial prep, not a lot of planning, just a lot of unhappiness and going with my gut. I've been really wrestling with my decision. Trying to figure out how we'll make this work. Doubting that I'm doing the right thing. I tried really hard to pray about it last night, but God kept shutting me down. I would honestly lose the words and feel scolded when I prayed about work or money. I had a knot in my stomach most of the day today too. Am I doing the right thing? Can we really make this work? Will I have to work 2 full-time jobs?

And then what? My wallet gets stolen at work. At the job that I hate, I lose what is now a significant amount of money and any security I had with my well-guarded identity. (Yes, I am still one of those goobers who carries my Social Security Card was in my wallet somewhere.)

So can the fact that I need to be as far away from there as possible be any clearer? As much as I hate that it happened, it now removes (almost) any doubt that I'm not supposed to be there.

But, as is the purpose of this blog, my day in food. Breakfast: Starbucks drink. Lunch: Leftover couscous and veggies, with an orange. Dinner: either cereal or eggs and toast. It was going to be chili, but Meijer was where I realized I had no money.

Exercise: We're going to go to the gym for Biggest Loser. That's 2 hours. Work out some of my anger and frustration.

Any of you been through this?

UPDATE: So I've had several hours to sit with things. And by "sit" I mean 70 minutes on the treadmill and 30 on the bike (yes, I rock). And I have discovered that the wallet theft is the best thing that could have happened today. It totally solidified my decision to leave that job. I have done the right thing. Leaving is what I was supposed to do. This is the least anxious I've felt in the last week. Yay!

Dinner was a turkey sandwich with gouda, spinach, and cranberry chutney. After the gym, I had a bowl of wheat chex. And now, after a very disappointing Biggest Loser, it's time for me to shower!

12 comments:

Linds said...

Awww I'm so sorry to hear about your wallet! I'd be really upset as well (since I carry everything in my wallet). Not only does it such that you lost the money, but it's such a pain in the butt to cancel everything, and a big inconvience to get all new cards.

As for your job... I think you made the right decision. When you don't like your job, it's exactly that to go to work... a job! You should have some form of enjoyment in going to work, or else it's horrible. As for the money, it might be tight for a while, but I'm sure you will get by (not knowing your financial situation at all). Maybe can you pick up a part time job working in your favourite retail store? I do think you made the right choice... at least you'll enjoy going to work a little more.

Remember... some times things need to get a little worse before they get better... don't worry it will look up!!

Thoughts are with you!!

Lindsay

FAT BRIDESMAID said...

I haven't had my wallet stolen before (ugh! such a personal violation!) but I think you're right -- this the universe telling you that this job? Where your wallet gets stolen? Not the place for you.

I'm so sorry you're struggling and wrestling with these big decisions right now. Think about this though -- would you rather work one full-time job and be miserable or work two jobs and be a little poorer, but ultimately happier? Taking the first step is always hard, especially when you're venturing into unexplored territory, but be brave and honest with yourself and you'll make it through.

And remember -- it's not like your education and career experience disappears just because you leave your "professional" job. You've got options, even though it might not feel like it right now.

I'm pulling for you.

Michelle said...

Sorry to hear about your wallet. A friend of mine had hers stolen recently (a coworker!) and my sister had her identity stolen a few years ago. Maybe they'll have a change of heart.

I too have been debating about a job change. Been reading my bible quite a bit. One verse that has been on my heart has been Proverbs 19:21 - "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

Clear your head at the gym and try to relax. Wishing you the best.

S said...

I am so sorry about your wallet. I know that must feel terrible but hopefully if some teenager took it they just took the cash and won't do anything with your "identity" (does that make you feel any better--probably not).

Way to go on the exercise. That's great!

I am glad you have clear guidance on leaving your job. I used to work in social work (with foster children) and had a nervous breakdown and quit so I completely understand why you might want to find somewhere else to work.

Hanlie said...

I'm so impressed that through all of this you didn't go off the rails regarding food and exercise. You are very disciplined!

Sorry about your wallet... I've had my whole handbag stolen 3 times already. Major upheaval!

Andrea Rory Finisen said...

Hi,

I'm sorry your wallet was stolen. That sucks. It seems to be a blessing in disguise; you're at peace with your decision to leave your job.

I'm proud of you for continuing to eat right and exercise through this stressful time instead of heading for the ice cream/candy/chips/couch. You rock!

Kathy said...

It sure seems a message is being sent your way...it may take a while to put it in context...but you are so wise to put your self into a "receptive" mode. Your sandwich sounds great, by the way.

Nikki said...

Congrats on the gym time and the good day, food-wise.

As for identity theft, I have been through this, and so has my husband. My purse was stolen, along with my social security card (i no longer carry it after that!).

The best thing you can do right now is call and alert the three credit companies, Equifax, Transunion, and Experian (I think), and tell them to put an alert on your account because your wallet was stolen with your info inside.

And I'd keep checking your credit report every six months or so for a little while, so you can contest some of the stuff - oh also, did you file a police report? That helps, too, if something comes up!

~Momma to Twin Girls~ said...

HUGS! I am so sorry to hear about your wallet-but I think you have turned it into a postive thing- you now know you are NOT suppose to be there! It was just the HARD way to learn. I am sooo sorry!

WTG for going and doing a work out and not saying heck with it!

Hang in there!

Trisaratops said...

So sorry to hear about that theft! That is so aggravating. And I'm glad you are able to think through it and make a decision that will ultimately lead to more happiness.

Poonie said...

Sorry you had such a crappy day and you've been struggling with your decision for so long. But at least that is done with. I've had my wallet stolen before and it makes you so angry. Don't yourself on the back for handling it all though, sounds like you're doing great despite everything.

Saweetie-Carleen said...

that totally sucks about your wallet but good for your leaving and heading to a different job!! you will enjoy a change!