Saturday, January 19, 2008

when all the colors mix together

Guess what I ate today?I remember earlier in this Biggest Loser season, Bob said it was okay to have dessert once a week, as he held a big slice of cheesecake. Weekly. I have not had dessert all year.

So after church, we went to Graeter's with our friends. I had planned on having some sherbert. But I changed my mind. Not on an impulse. Not because I was tempted. But because I honestly wanted chocolate.

I had a single scoop of Mocha Chip in a cup. And it was glorious. Amazing. Everything I had ever hoped a single scoop of ice cream could be.

And, better than the ice cream itself was my reaction.

Do I feel guilty?


Does it make me want to totally jump ship and have ice cream every day?


How do I feel?

I feel like I can handle ice cream occassionally, in moderation.

I don't feel like having a hamburger now. I don't feel like I have to go to the gym for hours on end to pay pennance for my indulgence. I feel like I had a scoop of ice cream. That's all.

Me. Someone who lives in a world of polarity. Either good or bad. Either 100% or zero. Black or white. But today, I had a shade of gray.

And I danced around in my gray area with my ice cream spoon.


Chubby Chick said...

Hey... if Bob said it's OK... that's good enough for me! hehe

I'm glad you enjoyed the treat... and I'm glad to see your positive mindset. Good for you! :)

Hanlie said...

That's an important breakthrough. I have always believed that a treat is fine, as long as it's the best quality treat that you can find. Preferably something expensive and only available in the next town! While you're having it, enjoy it, savour it, and then don't think about it for a long time. Let's not waste our treats on just any old candy from the supermarket.

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

That's awesome. I swear it's the only way to keep this up long term.

Cherry Dolphin said...

That is great, and I agree with hanlie, it was a very important breakthrough!


A shade of gray! That's awesome! I know what a big step that is for you girl and I'm proud of you.

jeannie* said...

So awesome for you! That's huge! You deserve a splurge now and then as long as it's just that, a little splurge And it was for you! Congrats. So keep dancing in your gray area!!! And keep up the great work :)

Lori said...

I love your mindset these days! Thanks so much for sharing all of your thoughts. I haven't figured out how to link things yet, but I did complete your "I love me" list this morning! thanks!

Enjoy your day!

Nikki said...

Do you live close to Cincinnati? That's where I am.

Boy I miss Graeter's. I don't quite eat it in moderation though. :)

Maybe in a couple weeks.

That's awesome for you!

Anonymous said...

This post is like poetry.
What a wonderful feeling!

Cammy said...

Oh, that's a wonderful splurge! Isn't it amazing how much better these things taste when we don't have them so frequently? Plus, if you're going to splurge, ice cream does have calcium and protein. :)

Lidian said...

Wonderful post! I let myself have one treat a week too - just one but something really good. Why not? You are such a great writer -

Poonie said...

You are fantastic! Let's face it, moderation is something most of us strive for. I'd say your attitude laughs in the face of dysfunctional food habits and that is a real victory.

Holly said...

Thank you for posting this! I ate a chocolate chip cookie this morning. Ok, I ate one and a half and I've been feeling guilty all day. Even went and did an extra workout when I was planning on taking a day off. Now I feel much better! :)


Sally Parrott Ashbrook said...


Trisaratops said...

Oh so wonderful for you! I am so struggling to get to that place. I'm so glad you indulged!

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for your comment! Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else when you can't trust yourself to make good decisions for a while.

This post illustrates exactly where I want to get back to.. ahh... the willpower, but it's not even that, it's not even wanting the other food - or better yet, having it in moderation. I am so proud of you! These past few weeks you have kicked some serious butt!
I am hoping soon that I'll be able to say the same thing about the ice cream... (and I still have to do your love list, but it will be done)... :)

Nikki said...

Ahh, so you are closeby!

I love when they have peppermint stick near the holidays - with bittersweet on top!

Better yet, over the summer they had peppermint chip. YUM.

Christine said...

I am so happy that you had your ice cream. That's really good for you - and to be able to look at it as a reward and then get back on track means you are stronger than I! :))))) You go girl.

Heather said...

that is fantastic! I am also like you..I dont have dessert every week..I have it on very special occaisons. but I will say this, when I do have it, its wonderful and I enjoy it and dont feel guilty either. So glad that you felt in control.