beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

Wow. I knew I'd been busy, but I didn't know I'd gone 2 days without posting. Geez.

Things have been really busy. We've officially got our house on the market. That's really scary. We don't know what we'll get out of it, and that will determine what we are able to afford when we move. It's discouraging to me that we've put all this work into the house and we're not going to see the financial gain we'd expected. Or I guess just that we'd hoped for.

And how have I coped with this? Eating and tv. Groan.

Eating has been terrible. We had Taco Bell for dinner last night. (Although for lunch the last 2 days I had the tomato and mozzarella salad from Panera and it's amazing.) I am trying so hard to be back on track. So hard. This morning was Starbucks and banana. Lunch will be black bean burgers, and hopefully fish or shrimp for dinner. I am trying to focus on my eating. Focus on better eating.

Yeah, and we've been watching a lot of Seinfeld. And last night I watched the rerun of Oprah. It was the first installment of the Life Your Best Life Diet. Bob Green kept telling them (and me) that we need to figure out why we are fat before we can expect to change it. He said that when we say things like, "I like food" or "I'm just lazy" we are just lying to ourselves. So that's my job for today. Why am I fat? I am a therapist. I can figure this out.

I have been listening to sermons on my way home though. That's been good for me. Monday's was about marriage and how we approach marriage and how we involve God in our marriages are the ways to make it work. I guess I take for granted that I have a strong marriage. I have never even thought that divorce could ever be an option. That's almost laughable to me. I guess I don't think about the people that don't have a connection to God and how that impacts their connection to a spouse. It was fascinating to me.

The sermon yesterday talked about secrets, referencing postsecret. He spoke of how keeping secrets is detrimental and involves lying to others, ourselves, and God. I really liked it.

(By the way, if you ever want a sermon that I reference, feel free to contact me and I'll tell you which podcast it's from. All the sermons I download are available through iTunes.)

Today is going to be a great day. Independence Day. I am going to try very hard to do things in a mindful way today, thinking of how I am freeing myself of things and of baggage and of whatever it is that is keeping me fat. Wish me luck.

Have a great Independence Day if you're American, and just have a great day if you are something else!