Monday, April 16, 2007

time grabs you by the wrist...

When I got out of bed this morning, I had several rants in mind for today's blog. The success story in this month's WW Magazine that lost 17 pounds. The feelings of helplessness that my car is in the shop. The general unfairness that I am eating so little and losing so little...

But then Virginia Tech happened. I know many tragedies happen in our little world, but this one has hit me hard. Maybe it's because it's kinda close to me geographically. Maybe it's because I treasure my college years and the people who became my surrogate family. Maybe it's because I remember what it was like to be the RA in charge of 40 freshman girls. I look back on those four years as a time when I was carefree and invincible. When all that mattered was passing Zoeller's theology final and winning Trivial Pursuit each Thursday night (I know I'm a dork). Bellarmine was a place where there was always an ear, always a hug, always a smile. It was not uncommon to make a midnight run to Denny's and find the answers to life's questions over a piece of cheesecake (to which I am still owe someone a cup of coffee in Seattle). It was there that I realized it was my call to be a therapist because I felt I had the skill to help people find their own answers. Those years were such a big part of who I am today. I learned, I loved, I struggled, I cried, and I maybe most imporantly I realized that life does not have to be about drama. I can hear "Crash Into Me" and it takes me back to Angela's car, or Sarah screaming "Underwear!" to Tom Petty or Tony doing the "Unbreak My Heart" dance. So many little things can trigger such vivid images for me. Images that bring a smile.

I am so thankful that I can look back on such an amazing college experience. And it breaks my heart, as a person and as a therapist, to imagine what is going on in the hearts and the minds of all the students at Virginia Tech. And the families of the students. Knowing the incredible impact a positive college experience had on me makes it impossible to imagine how today's tragedy is going to impact the lives of the students on that campus. Not just impacting their present and near future, but the rest of their lives. I have tried so many times today to pray for them, but I cannot find the words. I spent part of my lunch on my knees without an organized thought. My heart aches for those kids.

So good-night. And pray for Virginia Tech.


metamorphose said...

It's sadly true -their college memories will be wracked with the horror of such a senseless tragedy.

I pray for them too.