Sunday, March 25, 2007

what you don't have you don't need it now

I thought I posted last night. I guess I just meant to. Kansas lost. So much for my bracket. I only attended one of the showers yesterday (so sorry Vanessa!). Nate's mom decided to stay here instead of driving back home, so I didn't go to Lexington. I also didn't take pics of my food intake, it was awkward around company. But I ate very well, resisting Lee's chicken and wedding shower cake. I did have a small pineapple sundae at Dairy Queen, emphasis on small and pineapple (not chocolate, caramel, oreo, etc.). So it was a good day.

Today started out a little harder. I've worked so hard the last week...eating well, exercising, just focusing on my health. And a whole week with miniscule difference on the scale (like .4 of a pound). So the scale is going away. Nate is hiding it. I have to keep remembering that I am changing my health patterns for that reason: my health. A sermon I listened to earlier in the year (a gluttony series from the Village Church in Texas) talked about using likeness to God as a yardstick for success. I need to evaluate myself not based on the mirror or the scale, but by how my actions line up with the path God has set for me.

Which leads right into my main reason for my post today. The sermon at church this morning was right at me. Mike preached on Matthew 4:8-11, the third temptation of Christ. Satan offered Jesus all that He would eventually gain but without the suffering and pain. Satan offered him a shortcut. So often, we are offered shortcuts that go against the plan God has set out for us. The shortcuts may be against God's law, or just going against the feeling I have of how He is directing me. I felt this directly hit my lack-of-baby issues. In an unexplainable way, I feel that I am being led against any medical help in getting pregnant. I need to be happy with the person God has made me, even if that is not being a mother. I need to have stronger faith and trust Him with my life - whether or not I am a mother now or ever, I am who He wants me to be. Sometimes I have trouble with this - what if the person I want to be is different that the person God wants me to be? I don't like that possiblity. I do not doubt His power, His love, but I want my plan. So for now, I just have to let go of my plan, have faith in His plan, and find peace in knowing that today I am exactly where He wants me to be. And trust that one day, I will be a mom.

As I'm working on it, Beautiful Day by U2 comes up on iTunes..."what you don't have you don't need it now...It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away." I have all I need. And I am thankful. I just need to work on being content.

And today it is spring. Nathan and I worked in the yard yesterday, we took 2 nice walks this weekend, and I just took pictures outside. Our spring trees are blooming! And we're grilling for dinner (shrimp and sweet potatoes! Thanks for the recipes, Kent!)So it's all good. Nathan has homework to do, so that is all the blogging I'll do today. Have a great Sunday night!