is it getting better...or do you feel the same?

You missed me! You really missed me! I don't post one day, and people notice. I feel so important. Almost as important as the day I worked in a different office for a few hours and my office-mates freaked out and almost called the police 'cause they thought I was missing...

My discovery over the past 2 days: some things are too personal to post. I have a condition and have sought medical attention. (That was purposely vague. Please don't ask). Hence the reason my running log has not been updated for a few days and I'm probably a week or so from running again. I am not dying, I am just uncomfortable. And I don't think I'm getting better. I am very very angry 'cause it seems like every time I get really into the running thing, it lasts a few weeks and I get sick or otherwise unable to run. Poo. And I'll probably have to re-download the podcast for the first running week since I deleted it. I never thought I'd use it again. Oh well.

But, never fear, I am still Kansas-bound! Mom will be here tomorrow night, then we pick up the rental, Dad in daVille, and we're off to The (I-don't-know-the-nickname-so-add-in-your-own) State!

Last night I finished the book Nate got me for Valentine's Day. Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. Nathan noticed that I downloaded and listened to a lot of sermons from Bell's church, Mars Hill. It'n he swell? I'll just share a few of my reactions.

First, he states in the beginning to take the book with a grain of salt and not to accept what he says as absolute truth but to test it against your own faith. That being said, I have discarded parts of the book because I think they are gibberish, false, or not applicable. However, there are many aspects of the book that made me think and have challenged (and maybe changed) the way I view my life, my circumstances, and myself in God's eyes. So basically I've taken the parts I think are good, and tossed out the rest. No need to let the ideas I disagree with make me discard the ideas that I can use to help me understand myself and my God. (That's my disclaimer - If you read it, know I do not agree with everything he says.)

Bell states that being a Christian is more about celebrating mystery than understanding it. I think that's one of the places I fall short in my faith. I want to know why. I know Nate and I were brought away from home for a reason. Sometimes I find myself looking really hard for it. "Is this the kid I'm supposed to help?" "Is this the family God put me here to change?" I focus on my job being the reason I'm here, like the only influence I have on people is the families that I work with. I had never stopped to think that I should just celebrate where God has put us instead of trying to understand why. Maybe it is more because someone will touch me than that I will touch someone.

He also talks about the mystery of the Bible being alive, how the garden happens every day in our lives, how we can take the stories of things that happened so long ago and see ourselves in them. The stories in the Bible are our stories. The details may be different, but we fall short in the same ways. Sometimes I tend to think that the Bible is about people who lived a long time ago, who didn't understand overeating or laziness or wanting to sit in front of the television all night (America's Next Top Model was awesome tonight, by the way). But their stories are my story. And understanding that their struggles are my struggles will help me take what I read and apply the lessons to myself. Different details, but the same lessons. I really liked the "Alive Today" section in Chapter 2.

Just one more thing I'll mention about the book today (but there will be more to come!). Bell writes about how everyone has moments. The moments when we felt engulfed by something bigger than ourselves. Bell insists that people who are not Christians have the same moments in their lives, they just attribute the moments to other people or themselves or nothing in particular. The easiest way of sharing our faith is being able to point out to others that God is the source of our big life moments. God made the crystal clear, wide and shallow waters of Portsmouth Island. God made the chocolate and the eggs and the oven and the pan and gave me the gift to make an amazing chocolate cake. God is the source of the inexplicable peace I feel when I work with families in the midst of trama and grief. The presence of God is what made my wedding the most amazing day of my life and He is what keeps my marriage sacred and beautiful and peaceful. And God is in the not-so-big but equally exciting moments. For example, God created a plastic cup from a 2000 Cincinnati Reds game that is holding the best glass of ice water I could ask for.

So with that, I am off to bed. No running, but some reading. I hope I'll be able to figure out how to put pictures in the body of my post and show you some pictures from Kansas. I'll be there Friday - Monday, and Nate will be in Atlanta Monday - Friday. It's going to be so hard not seeing him for a week! It's the longest we've been apart. And with that big whine, I bid you good night.

Zak (the reason for my trip to Kansas) indicated that he knew the reason for the title of my blog - only a line from my favorite Alanis Morissette song, No Pressure Over Cappucino. Consider yourself shout-outed, bubby.

Oh, a another special shout-out for the person who identifies the song title of today's post title. It's the opening line from my favorite song EVER. (Nathan, you are not eligible. You just know me too well!) Nighty night!