this world's got nothing I need

What I Learned from my 3-Week Unemployment

Installment 1

What I Learned about God

You know, it really took this time off to make me realize that my life is not my own.

God answers prayer.

I hated my job. HATED. The environment was very toxic. It was not a God-friendly environment. I was having a really hard time sharing my faith, or even allowing my faith to come out there.

I had wanted out for a month or so, but over my Christmas vacation I realized that the thought of going back was terrifying. I felt my career, my professional existance, was on the line daily. I really wanted to get a hold of that part of my life.

During that time off, I also read a lot of weight loss blogs, watched a Biggest Loser marathon (thanks to the tvs at the gym) and realized that I was also out of control with my health.

After a particularly difficult workout, I took a shower. As I stood naked in front of our bathroom mirror, I said out-loud, "God, if I had the opportunity, I could get my health where it needs to be. I just want some time, Lord, some time for me." I didn't know what that would mean and I couldn't dream of a way that would be possible.

I went back to work. For a week. It was terrible. Just constant uncomfort in the pit of my stomach terrible. The weekend came. I hoped my cell phone wouldn't ring. On Sunday, I saw an ad in the newspaper that a restaurant was needing help with catering. I really didn't think anything about it.

But, as I was getting ready that morning, again in the mirror, I told God that all I wanted was to give my notice that day. I almost laughed as I said, "And, if there's any way possible, I would love for this to be my last week." I stopped by the restaurant on my way to work, and was offered a job on the spot. When did they want me to start? The next week. So I gave my notice that day. And I was thankful. But incredibly nervous.

That night, I tried to pray about it. And God wouldn't let me. I don't know how to explain it, except He shut me down. Whenever my thoughts went to job in prayer, words would escape me. I know that should have comforted me, but it frustrated me and confused me further. Had I done the wrong thing and this was His response? Or was it comfort? I didn't know. And that scared me.

I applied for about 25 jobs on the internet.

And then my wallet got stolen. At work. Out of my purse, out of my desk. As soon as I realized it was gone, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, and I sent it to voicemail. Although the stolen wallet was a terrible inconvenience, it completely calmed me down. Somehow, that experience brought everything together. I knew I had done the right thing, and I stopped worrying.

I got home, checked my email, and it was about one of the jobs I had applied for. I spoke to an important lady, and the conversation went well. I knew, before I ended that conversation, that this was the job I would get. I knew little about the position, nothing about the company, and I knew it was the job I needed to pursue.

I got multiple other bites on my resume. I followed up with a few, but half-heartedly.

Because of my upcoming interviews, I did not take the catering job after all. And I was not worried.

I went to the interview for the job I knew I had. I rocked it. I knew I had stiff competition, but I knew I had the job. I was not afraid. I felt secure going into the interview. I went to another interview that day, but my heart just wasn't in it. It went well, it just didn't feel right.

I got the job I knew I would. I started today.

God took care of us.

Finances are going to work out perfectly (based on payment schedule of previous job and current job).

I kept my word - I got my stuff together. I am eating well. I am exercising. My house is pretty much clean. I used the time He gave me to do what I said I would do. And I totally forgot about that conversation until several days ago, when I was in the mirror expressing gratitude for my job.

God took care of us.

I feel like this is the time in my life I will always look back on as the time I turned my life around. The time that God made allowances for me to be the best keeper of my life that I could be. I have realized that He has given me everything - my body, my family, my job - and it is my responsibility to use it to His glory.

And I'm trying. Every day.