Monday, February 4, 2008

this world's got nothing I need

What I Learned from my 3-Week Unemployment
Installment 1
What I Learned about God

You know, it really took this time off to make me realize that my life is not my own.

God answers prayer.

I hated my job. HATED. The environment was very toxic. It was not a God-friendly environment. I was having a really hard time sharing my faith, or even allowing my faith to come out there.

I had wanted out for a month or so, but over my Christmas vacation I realized that the thought of going back was terrifying. I felt my career, my professional existance, was on the line daily. I really wanted to get a hold of that part of my life.

During that time off, I also read a lot of weight loss blogs, watched a Biggest Loser marathon (thanks to the tvs at the gym) and realized that I was also out of control with my health.

After a particularly difficult workout, I took a shower. As I stood naked in front of our bathroom mirror, I said out-loud, "God, if I had the opportunity, I could get my health where it needs to be. I just want some time, Lord, some time for me." I didn't know what that would mean and I couldn't dream of a way that would be possible.

I went back to work. For a week. It was terrible. Just constant uncomfort in the pit of my stomach terrible. The weekend came. I hoped my cell phone wouldn't ring. On Sunday, I saw an ad in the newspaper that a restaurant was needing help with catering. I really didn't think anything about it.

But, as I was getting ready that morning, again in the mirror, I told God that all I wanted was to give my notice that day. I almost laughed as I said, "And, if there's any way possible, I would love for this to be my last week." I stopped by the restaurant on my way to work, and was offered a job on the spot. When did they want me to start? The next week. So I gave my notice that day. And I was thankful. But incredibly nervous.

That night, I tried to pray about it. And God wouldn't let me. I don't know how to explain it, except He shut me down. Whenever my thoughts went to job in prayer, words would escape me. I know that should have comforted me, but it frustrated me and confused me further. Had I done the wrong thing and this was His response? Or was it comfort? I didn't know. And that scared me.

I applied for about 25 jobs on the internet.

And then my wallet got stolen. At work. Out of my purse, out of my desk. As soon as I realized it was gone, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, and I sent it to voicemail. Although the stolen wallet was a terrible inconvenience, it completely calmed me down. Somehow, that experience brought everything together. I knew I had done the right thing, and I stopped worrying.

I got home, checked my email, and it was about one of the jobs I had applied for. I spoke to an important lady, and the conversation went well. I knew, before I ended that conversation, that this was the job I would get. I knew little about the position, nothing about the company, and I knew it was the job I needed to pursue.

I got multiple other bites on my resume. I followed up with a few, but half-heartedly.

Because of my upcoming interviews, I did not take the catering job after all. And I was not worried.

I went to the interview for the job I knew I had. I rocked it. I knew I had stiff competition, but I knew I had the job. I was not afraid. I felt secure going into the interview. I went to another interview that day, but my heart just wasn't in it. It went well, it just didn't feel right.

I got the job I knew I would. I started today.

God took care of us.

Finances are going to work out perfectly (based on payment schedule of previous job and current job).

I kept my word - I got my stuff together. I am eating well. I am exercising. My house is pretty much clean. I used the time He gave me to do what I said I would do. And I totally forgot about that conversation until several days ago, when I was in the mirror expressing gratitude for my job.

God took care of us.

I feel like this is the time in my life I will always look back on as the time I turned my life around. The time that God made allowances for me to be the best keeper of my life that I could be. I have realized that He has given me everything - my body, my family, my job - and it is my responsibility to use it to His glory.

And I'm trying. Every day.



I have goosebumps! I'm so proud of you for putting your life in God's hands and being so brave! Things are good now and they're going to get even better -- and you deserve it.

Hanlie said...

Awesome post! I am so glad that you asked for what you needed and wanted. Sometimes we forget to ask... and then we stay put in our miserable circumstances.

I'm sure this new job will be a place where you can be YOU.

Christine said...

Great post girl. Doesn't it always seem to work out when you put it in God's hands? Take care.

justoofat said...

I'm not a religious person, but I'm glad that everything has worked out so well for you. Hope this next phase of your journey will be best ever.


Lora said...

Wow...I really needed to read your post today. I have been unemployed for some time now. I have a recently aquired teaching degree but can't seem to land a job. I have been searching for a job forever it seems! My unemployment ran out 3 weeks ago. I have bills due and no money to pay them! (Hubby is a seasonal worker so winter is tough on us.) First hubby died with only enough life insurance to pay for his funeral....

So I've been really trying to trust the Lord to see me through this tough time here. Your post inspired me to keep looking up!

meredith said...

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!! You and I have been going through similar trials at the same time... God is SO good, huh?

This past month has been a major turning point in my walk with the Lord too... It's such an amazing feeling. I love reading the posts of other on fire believers! You inspire me to live out loud about my faith more... Thank you so much for being real and honest. :)

You are a blessing.

Sarah P said...

I have tears streaming down my face right now (at work) amazing entry! Krissie THANK YOU! I needed this today-

Ready to Shrink said...

Your post was really beautiful. Though we both handle faith and our beliefs differently I think that your story was awesome. God Bless you and your family. :)

Sally Parrott Ashbrook said...

When you really put yourself out there, sometimes it does come back to you--and it's so awesome when that happens. Congratulations.

Kelly said...

This is a great post! Thank you for sharing the story of how God worked in your life!

Christie said...

I'm so glad things have worked out wonderfully for you. It's great when everything falls into place like it's meant to be. I hope your new job is wonderful!

Scale Junkie said...

I love when a plan falls into place. Congrats on the new job and on taking the steps to move your life in a better direction.

Honi said...

great post .. hope all goes well with the new job.

Heather said...

that is very true..god has always found a way to rescue me when I really needed something to happen. glad that you have found the same to be true for you.