'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

What I Learned from my 3-Week Unemployment
Installment 2
What I Learned from "What Not to Wear"

During my unemployment, I spent a lot of time at the gym.

My motivation? What Not to Wear. I have fallen in love with Stacey and Clinton. I want them to be my friends. I want them to tear apart my wardrobe. I'm tempted to dress really badly as I slim down so that someone will refer me and they will come and see me! Somehow, I doubt that would all work out for me.

But, deep in the heart of their catty remarks are a lot of lessons.

1. There's beauty in the breakdown. The more difficult the process, the greater the transformation at the end. There was one episode where the girl was cute, she just wore sporty clothes all the time. She was eager to change, and she went from cute to really cute. But usually the person is incredibly resistant and goes from shockingly oblivious to stunning. Through the process, we get to see the tears fall, the insecurities crumble, and the self-esteem grow. That's what I like: the Cinderella story where the beauty was there all along. The process that must go on internally amazes me.

2. Change your focus. "It's not that my hips are freakishly huge, my waist is just tiny!" My favorite thing about the show is that there isn't a huge body transformation. No surgery or botox or anything fake. It's just about using what you already have. Stacey and Clinton do such a good job, in my opinion, of reframing negatives. It's not about focusing on what I hate (what belly?) but instead I need to accentuate what I know works (hello breasts!).

3. If the piece of clothing only works when you pair it with another piece, then it doesn't work at all. I have a closet full of clothes that can only be worn as a pair. I have to wear this shirt with these jeans to disguise my muffin-top. No, I cannot wear that sweater with that jeans or I'll show my crack to everyone. No, I have to wear this bra with this shirt or otherwise it won't button. I deserve better than buying clothes that need other clothes as accessories. My clothes should just fit. Amen.

4. If you get something cheap, people aren't going to think you got a bargain. They will just see that you are wearing cheap clothes. I am so tempted to take my in-between times and shop at the really cheap places - you know, where the clothes fall apart or shrink up the second time you wear them. I am going to try really hard to buy a few pieces of nice clothing (on sale of course!) and feel good when I am able to donate once they outgrow me. And I have found a high-end consignment store!

5. If you can wear it to the gym, you shouldn't wear it anywhere else. This is the concept that I am most guilty of. I used to wear my gray lounge pants to work. And then I'd sleep in them. I have been known to wear draw-string pants to work. I figure that my shirts are so long, no one will know. Besides, who expects a fat person to dress nicely? So all of my lounge pants have now been demoted and are no longer on hangers. It's baby steps.

And there you have it. Life lessons from tv.