Sunday, August 12, 2007

all hanging on one person's breath

I am so loving that many of you have already posted your Love Lists! (Visit Fat Bridesmaid, Aimee , Mousearoo, Shirley, and Sarah.) Thank you all so much for playing along!

In the spirit of 10 things, let me tell you 10 awesome things I did today.

1. I filled up my car for less than $40.
2. We went to church and heard a great sermon about hope.
3. We took my Mom and Dad through the model of our new home.
4. We planned out the paint colors.
5. We went furniture shopping. We have picked out potential dining room set and chairs for the tv room.
6. Mom and Dad took us to a Mongolian Grill where I had a little bit of meat, and lot of veggies, and a moderate amount of brown rice.
7. We bought these really cool, and really cheap, bookshelves at Barnes and Noble.
8. I finished packing up my great-grandmother's dishes.
9. I had a bowl of Banana Nut Crunch Cereal for dinner.
10. I had an ephiphany. This deserves a paragraph of its own.

Epiphany backstory: We live in a huge house with a huge yard that is perfect for wiffle ball. When we moved in 2.5 years ago, we painted the room across the hall from our bedroom a great shade of pale green, which I thought would be perfect for a child of either gender. We are trying to have kids. So far, we have been unsuccessful. When I walk through my huge, lonely house, I am reminded of this.

Now we have sold our house. To a two parent family with 6 kids. SIX KIDS!

Then we find a house that is perfect for the two of us. We are moving to a house half the size of our current house, with no yard. We have room to grow, but not too much space for just the two of us. It's good for our needs, but we wouldn't be crowded if there was a little person running around.

So I'm in the bookstore today, thinking of how excited I am that a family of eight is moving into our house. And then it hits me.

Epiphany: Our big house is empty without kids. There is a part of me that feels that way too. In a smaller house, that is more suited for the two of us, maybe I won't have the constant reminder that something is missing. Maybe we're moving into a smaller house to help me be content with what I have, to not constantly be looking for something to fill up my rooms. Maybe I'll feel more content not having a baby if I don't feel like we're in a space that is meant for a big family.

I hope that makes sense. It made sense when I explained it to Nathan, but it's kinda gray when I try to tell you all. I think you get the picture.

I have decided that I am going to try to be food good through the move, but I'm not going to have unrealistic expectations. I am so excited to get into the fitness room once we move, though! In a month, I will start acting like the healthy person I am!


Annie said...

I can understand what you're saying, so don't worry about coming across all garbled. :)
I've done my meme, come and check it out.
Luv Annie

Anonymous said...

I've laughed my butt off.....I guess I follow my own rules honey!!! I made up my own list of ten things I love!! Anyway- it was a good challenge. Thanks


I get what you're saying and it makes sense. I think a cozy condo is just what the doctor ordered! I can't wait to see pictures (and I'm totally jealous of your fitness room).

Sarah said...

I understand what you are saying about the big house.

I am in the process of moving and downsizing and I have been keeping your recent downsize in mind. I have so much stuff I just don't really need anymore. However, I can not bring myself to get rid of my purses!

Christine said...

Looks like I need to make a list too! Thanks for sharing! It made me smile.

Token fat girl said...

A fitness room! I'm jealous too. Cheers to moving, new chapters and new memories!
(PS: I'm back and I have a blog contest on my blog! Thank you so much for sticking around...)
(PPS: catching up on your blog now)

mamacita chilena said...

moving can be so awesome. maybe this will be just what the doctor ordered...a fresh start in a new house to get rid of old ghosts in the closet.