you haven't worn the old one yet

Krissie got a job! Krissie got a job!

I got Job #1. The one I really wanted. I start on February 4th. I'll train for a week or so (probably staying with my parents 'cause I'll be in that area) and then I'll be spending 2 weeks in Atlanta.

That is very exciting, but stressful, to me.

What will I eat? What will Nathan eat? Will I be able to keep up my gym habits?

Okay, to be honest, I'm more concerned with what Nathan will eat than what I will eat. I know he's a grown man (thanks for reminding me, Mom), I know he can cook, I know he knows where Chic-Fil-A is...but I like taking care of him. No, I LOVE taking care of him. He does so much for me. He shows me so much unconditional love. And one of the ways I show that back to him is in cooking. So I'm cooking huge meals and stocking the freezer. He won't even know I'm gone!

Speaking of new job, I will have to slowly fix my wardrobe. I have been working in a very casual environment. I wore my favorite gray lounge pants to work weekly. That can't happen now. I'm in a professional environment. I realize that I will be doing a lot of repeating, not only because I don't have the financial means to purchase a new wardrobe, but I'm not going to be able to wear my current size for much longer anyway.

My current size. Sigh. What exactly is my current size? I don't have any idea. I wanted a congratulatory employment gift today. I went to Kohl's looking for one of these (they were in their ad this week), but of course, they didn't have any. They did have several pieces in my motivation to be thin: the Simply Vera line. I ended up buying an awesome gray sweater (no link - I can't find it online) for $22. And it was a Large. Not XX, not even X, just L. I realize it was probably a fluke, but I have poured myself into XXLs for a LONG time. I feel like this was my first L of many. (Don't tell Nate, but I also spent $20 on a grey and black dress. It was an XL. But it is HOT.)

My plan for the evening is to spend the Biggest Loser 2 hours at the gym - 1 hour on the treadmill and 1 hour on the bike.

Now it's time for me to make dinner. I'm very excited, but you'll have to check out my food pictures later to see it.

Where are my food pics, you ask? They will be here from now on. I mentioned several days ago that posting food pics is kinda an excuse for me to be shallow here to meet my self-imposed daily blog requirement. No more. You'll have to click on the link on the right for "Tryin' on a Brand New Dress." You won't be disappointed.

Keep rocking ladies!

I wanna 'lectrify my soul

Today was a great day!

I started my day with cheerios and milk.
Then I had to decide what to wear on my interviews today. I had a lot of trouble deciding what looked good together combined with what looked good on me. I don't have a lot of business-type clothes. I decided that I am really excited about the day when I don't have to squeeze myself into a slimming tank top and control top panty hose. I really hate being fat.

But then I pulled my favorite sweater out of my to-be-drycleaned bag, doused it with body spray, and headed out the door.

Off to interview #1. I really want this job. I prayed the whole way there that I present my true self. I didn't want to be nervous, I didn't want to be pompus. I just wanted to be me. And that's what happened. It sounds like a good-paying, fulfilling job with a pretty healthy environment. It was a fun interview, and she actually said it takes a lot of "integrity" to leave a job like I did. I have thought it was the cowards way out, but she helped me feel better about the decision. (Is that supposed to happen in an interview?) Anyway, it sounds really promising and I am really excited. She said she'll be in touch in 4-5 days, and she can't imagine why they wouldn't hire me.

Then I headed to Atlanta Bread Company for my favorite sandwich in the whole entire world. Just veggies, dill sauce, and cheese.

But to get the full picture, you have to see the inside. How incredibly yummy.
I had some time to waste before Interview #2, so I went across the street to hang out at Starbucks for a while. I have been curious about their "skinny" menu, so I ordered a Tall Skinny Mocha Latte. And it was nas-assty. I had 2 sips, sat there for a while, and realized that my tank top/slimmer was cutting me pretty much in half. And since I had changed clothes since I put it on and was wearing a sweater, why am I wearing the freaking thing? I thought about taking it off in the bathroom, but I didn't.

So I was off to Interview #2. It was a pretty cool job as well, and I think I would have a shot at it. But it is a 45 minute commute each way. And it sounds like more responsibility than what I would want right now. But I'm not going to totally cut it out of the picture until I know more about Job #1.

Dinner was a quick and tasty chicken and noodles. No recipe, it's just chicken broth, rotisserie chicken breast, whole wheat egg noodles, and a jar of chicken gravy. Nothing says comfort food to me like chicken and noodles. I am a happy girl.

We went to Bible Study tonight, with a professor from a local seminary teaching through the Old Testament. It was week 1, and we had a really good time. We had several friends there and it was great to see friends that we hadn't seen since Christmas. We typically go out to eat with one particular couple, and it was hard to have to not make plans because we don't know what our long-term financial situation will be (and we don't eat out cheap). But we'll at least to ice cream or coffee or something after church on Saturday night.

On the way home, we stopped at Starbucks. This is an old picture, but I had a bottled Starbucks Mocha (my beloved Starbucks drink) over ice. It upset my stomach something fierce. I know I can only have caffeine on an empty stomach, but I keep trying anyway. Silly girl.

I had decided prior to today that this would be my gym-free day this week. I almost feel like I wasted it, though, since I'm not sore or particularly tired today. But it was a full day, and I needed a day off. But I'm back to the gym tomorrow afternoon!

I want to thank you all for all your well-wishes for my job search. And your encouragement on my new habits. You all keep me accountable! You are a BIG part of my success! Thanks so much for your comments!

a simple prop to occupy my time

I am so excited for my weight loss this week! I love reading about the success of my blog friends too!

I got what I wished for! I took a new job today. I don't know the pay yet, but I'm expecting minimal. It's the morning shift at a local restaurant. It's early mornings, so I'll be able to do something else in the evening as well. My last day at my current job is Friday. I'm kinda worried about how the money is going to work out, but I know it will. We'll make it work. My dinners and lunches may become less dramatic, but it will work.

I have felt good after workouts all week. But today at work, I was resting the phone on my shoulder, and got a siginficant pain in my left shoulder. It's still there. So I'm taking today off from the gym.

Today's Eats!

Refrigerated Starbucks drink and apple for breakfast:


Leftover shrimp pasta for lunch. Couscous Salad with Roasted Veggies for dinner.

Then I got really munchy. I had a bowl of Wheat Chex...
And a little cup of marshmallows, peanuts, and chocolate chips.
You know what? I am not doing this. My shoulder hurts. That has nothing to do with the exercise bike. After Wheel of Fortune, I am going to the gym. Amen.

(P.S. I love you, Nathan! I do not deserve someone as supportive, as self-less, and as giving as you are. Thank you so much for the career understanding, the gym encouragement, and being such a good food guinea pig! You are my honey!)

I can change, I can change

Happy Friday! This will be rambling, but it's been a full day! I'll just be chronological.

I actually got to do some productive things at work! I think I am really going to like my job. I'm not actually doing therapy anymore, I'm managing foster homes and other case managers. I actually have people that I manage. That's so cool! I really enjoy it so far.

On the way home, I finished listening to the sermon I almost finished yesterday. I still didn't like it. I went back and listened again to the part that I thought was controversial, and she still said that following a scripted weight loss or exercise plan was an idol. I don't agree with that. I think that spending an hour on Saturday and planning my week keeps me from being fixated on food all week. But that's just me.

Then I listened to a sermon out of Mars Hill, minister being the Rob Bell whose books I love but don't necessarily agree with everything he says. The sermon I listened to today was really good. He talked about leaving control and seeking faith. It really hit home to me and my control issues. More than that, though, hearing the message today really comforted me. God will take care of today. I don't need to worry. I will do what I can about selling the house, and finding a new one, but God will take care of that today when it comes.

I ate REALLY well today.

B: Starbucks and banana
L: banana, peanut butter, and honey on flat-out bread, an apple
D: flat bread pizza
S: Wheat Chex and 1% milk


After dinner, Nathan and I took a huge load of stuff to Goodwill. I decided that I wasn't going to keep many of my skinny clothes. Considering I wore them 3 years ago, and I still have a long way to go, they would be out of style before I could wear them again. We also had a lot of sheets and blankets that we haven't used since we moved, and rugs that we don't use since we refinished the floors. We fit almost all of it in the car, and we'll make a second trip in the morning. (Don't worry...the garbage bags are all full of stuff, not trash.)


Tonight I painted the stairs inside the house. Or I primed them atleast. I took a before pic, but I'll wait and post it with the after. Nathan also got the pantry painted, and I'll post before and afters of it as well.

Have a great weekend!

it takes two to make it out of sight

Last day of work! Last day of work! Woot woot!

I cannot thank my lovely blog buddies enough for all their help yesterday. You solved all my problems!

Mindy - thanks. I am taking an entire box of baggies. And I've found that they really help my organization as well. I can actually see what's in my make-up bag. I wouldn't have thought of the baggies.

Maryann - The website was a life saver. I actually now have a baggie that looks a lot like the picture.

Amy - I hate to hear that you are leaving Bellarmine, but we knew it was coming. Big congrats! And I think we are planning on coming to your celebration (not in Florida). So many changes for you! And, I too, now have short-term health insurance!

Marie - I know how you feel about airports. However, we are flying out of Louisville, and I am very comfortable there. When I was in college there, I spent a lot of time picking up and dropping off friends, and trying to spot famous people during derby week.

You all are awesome!

The potluck yesterday was awesome. My dear friend Courtney made my chicken salad (and well!) and there was tons of fruit and veggies and dips and one plate of cookies. It rocked. The food was great, the company was great, and I got great gifts. Gift certificates to the Fudgery and the store where I buy Vera Bradley bags. I've actually picked out the one I'm buying, and the one I am donating in return.

I am so excited about Kansas. Nate and I are driving to Louisville tonight, doing a little shopping, and staying in a hotel. Then we'll be at the airport at 4:30 am to be ready for our 6am flight. I figure this way I'll be sleepy and will sleep on the plane. Even with our layover, we'll land in Kansas City before lunch. Very exciting! Carr family, here we come!! (that felt like something from Extreme Home Make Over!)

Yeah, Kansas. So we'll be gone until really stinking late Monday night. I may be able to post while I am out there, but I don't expect to. If you don't see me for several days, please don't forget about me! I look forward to catching up with everyone when I get back!

Have a great weekend!

don't wanna forget come daylight

Happy day before Nathan's Birthday! Tomorrow we are having dinner at Shakertown. Very exciting. And I've eaten well enough today and yesterday that I feel I can manage a nice dinner out. Besides, I know I can just get the fish and veggies and be generally okay. (Oh, but then there are yeast rolls!)

Today was a good day. I ate really well. I got really hungry about half an hour ago. I know it was boredom hunger, but I was still hungry. I ate strawberries. Still the Starbucks drink and banana for breakfast (I was running late...more on that later). Chicken salad on spinach for lunch (so incredibly yummy) and this beautiful pizza concotion for dinner. I had a fiber one bar and a glass of milk for dessert. And then a cup of strawberries. So I stayed within my points for the day (if you count 1 point for the strawberries = 40 minutes of yardwork). Yay me!

Nathan and I planned on going for a walk this evening, but the storm hit quicker than we had anticipated. So we just cut down weeds (not pulled them out, but cut them in half and doused them with weed killer). It was work in it's own way.

Oh yes, almost late for work today. I had big plans to make this peanut butter-banana-honey wrap thing for breakfast this morning. Usually it doesn't matter if I'm a few minutes late for work, and it's a good thing because I'm usually 10 minutes later than my anticipated arrival time. But I had to be on time today because today was my evaluation (with my big 2.7% increment on the line). We were supposed to meet at nine, so I was there by 8:30, just to get everything in line. So he comes in at 9:40. I say nothing. Later in the day, he asks if we can do my evaluation tomorrow, to which I respond, "I thought it was today?" He gives me this story about how he didn't sleep very well last night and decided to sleep in a little. I wish I had those kind of allowances. I guess that's a perk of being the boss.

But no bitterness (okay, just a little) because I have a great weekend ahead of me. Tomorrow is a great day for our little family (the big 2-9 for Nate!). Then Thursday, we're heading to Lexington for the evening (I'll probably be in town about 4, Kent. But I was thinking of getting a pedicure, so I'll call you when I'm ready to come over. What time is good for you?). Nate has his big exam Friday morning (you'll rock baby!), then shopping and going back to good ol' Greenup for the Easter weekend. Zak will be in from Kansas. I am just very excited. I do wish we would be in our home church for Easter morning, but I'm sure I'll be inspired wherever we go.

I realize I may have sounded sad about the semi-retirement of my shoes. I am not sad. I paid good money for them, and they are for running. I love them, thus I must respect their purpose in life. And I am silly enough that wanting to wear them (and run in them!) will inspire me to keep up my habits. Yeah, I am inspired by shoes. I'm not logical.

Oh, for any fellow Alanis Morissette fans out there (and anyone who knows her has noticed many references to her in post and blog title), this video is hilarious.

I read a quote today that has really stuck with me. Some people dream of success...others get up every day and work at it. I am working at it. And this is helping. So thank you for reading.

whatever words I say

Today was a day. Eating still not back on track. No gym. Just kinda blah. I have decided to go to Weight Watchers (for sure) tomorrow evening. It's not going to be pretty, but I'm going to go.

Not a good night for reality tv. My second favorite dude was voted off American Idol. Chris had some trouble with an odd beat, so what? At least he isn't a talentless mohawk-wearing freak. (That's not just my opinion, seriously Sanjaya sucks.) And one of my favorites was voted off America's Next Top Model. Granted, she didn't have a ton of talent (like I know what to look for in a model) but she was kind and personable. And aren't those the characteristics that should win a modeling competition? Seriously. Speaking of "seriously," I found out today that Grey's is going to be reruns for the next month. AND there's talk about cancelling How I Met Your Mother. (Click here to sign the online petition to renew it.) Why do I even bother watching television anymore??

I had a rough day at work today. Co-worker questioning my methods for teaching kids about healthy foods. I'm leading a nutrition group and said that there is no such thing as a "bad food." I said that we need to be responsible and eat unhealthy foods in moderation. And somehow it's thought that the kids are going to hear that I'm saying eat whatever you want. I'm not out to create a group of eating-disordered kids who see food choices as a moral dilemma and base their self-worth on what they do and do not eat. Maybe I'm bringing too many of my own issues with food to group, but I see an opportunity to educate kids. And that's my goal, to educate. Not to judge or bully or scare them into eating healthy. I choose the educational, motivational, and inspirational approach.

Yeah.

I had a crazy dream last night that the sewers in New York were backed up and somehow this was causing sludge to come out of our sinks. But my friend Courtney was dressed like the Gordon's Fisherman with big kitchen gloves to "save the day!" It was really funny. I don't know what that means.

So here's my plan. I'm working on my list of reasons I want to be healthy, the things I want to be able to do, the things I want to accomplish, etc. I'm sure I'll share it in bits and pieces. I'm starting to run again on April 1. I'm joining Weight Watchers tomorrow with Courtney and Katie. (Katie, who I've only met a few times, gives me the feeling that I'm supposed to be her friend, like I've known her forever. Maybe there's a reason for that.) I'm still writing down everything I eat, the good the bad and the ugly.

I need to pray more. I'm still somewhat resistant. I'm really listening to sermon podcasts and really drinking it up. But I think I'm keeping things on an intellectual level. I'm praying for others- my friends and family who are getting married, the people in our church that are ill, my family- but I'm having trouble praying for me and my struggles. And maybe that's because I'm afraid I'll get answers that I won't like, or I'll learn something I don't want to know, or I'll be convicted of something I don't want to change.

Have I mentioned that I have control issues? I don't like to ride horses (or bicycles really) 'cause I don't like feeling out of control. I don't like to carry cash because I have more control on a debit card. I don't particularly like swings or rollercoasters (anymore) or (to some degree) new relationships because I don't like the lack of control or vulnerability. And I'm resistant to ask for help because I want to fix it myself and get the results that I want. I just fear that I'm close to something I don't want to hear. So I'm not listening. I'm praying, I'm reading, I'm learning, but I won't let myself listen.

As I've sat with my hands in my hair (and a not-so-cute spiky mess as a result), all that keeps running through my head is the chorus of an old Blues Traveler song:

Just wait, just wait, just wait - it will come.

I went and found the lyrics for the entire song. (You can can read them here.) It's funny how I haven't heard a song in probably 10 years (my brother Nick had the cd) and I haven't thought about it in almost that long. And it comes from the blue and makes me feel better. I guess all I can say is that I'm trying to listen.

Now I'm really exhausted, and I'm going to bed.

burning up his fuse out here alone

I'm an unhappy camper. Haven't seen Nate since Friday am (and I don't really count that - I was asleep) and won't see him again until this Friday pm. I hate being a wussy, attached-at-the-hip wife, but that's what I am. I hate Atlanta 'cause he's there instead of here. (Insert mental picture of my sticking out my bottom lip and pouting.)

Today was quite possibly the hardest day of work I have ever had. The kids in group were just terrible. I cannot believe elementary kids can be so disrespectful. I understand that we are a product of the environment we are raised in, but come on. Do I look dumb? Then why do kids (KIDS????) call me that? And since today was rough, we're not having fun day tomorrow. The kids don't realize that it's unfair to us to. Us grown-ups need the Fun Fursday as much as they do. Grrrr.

Tonight we went out for my boss's birthday. We ate at our local Mexican joint, LaFonda. The balloons we brought in cued the staff that it was his birthday, so they brought out the dessert and the sombrero, and they really snuck up on him, grabbed his shoulders and made the ARRIBBA! noises. I thought he was going to crap his pants. We could have won America's Funniest Videos if we had it on tape. Bummer. But it was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.

I hate to admit it, but I'm being honest. I've not been doing well with my relationship with God the past few weeks. I'm angry that I have a reason to be on medication (purposely vague!) and that I felt so nasty for seo many days. And that I had to hide my discomfort for work and trip purposes. I mean, why didn't I get sick when I had nothing to do? But I'm almost back to normal, but that doesn't mean I'll stay that way. It's kept me from running, from feeling like cooking, from feeling like doing anything but laying on the couch actually. And sometimes even that wasn't fun. I haven't listened to a sermon in a while, and have prayed very little except for before meals and the pleas for my medical condition to miraculously disappear. I just feel very disconnected right now. And kinda lacking the motivation to fix that just yet.

I am not running yet, but I am not lacking that motivation. With Nathan in Atlanta, Courtney is staying with me. And she is just so social! Pedicures, dinner out, playing with Maude the Pug, sitting at Steve's table forever talking about nothing...I'm just trying to enjoy the time I have with her. It's so rare that my main contact is with a girl. I love Nathan, I miss Nathan terribly, but I do love the pampering and the gossip and the reality tv. So I'm not running this week. We have the Shuffle on Saturday, and that will be my jump start. Back to my original post, I am a runner who had an illness. I am not someone who gave up on running. I am someone who respects my body, it's need to heal, and I will run again!

I am glad that people out there are reading and checking up on me. I miss you all.

It's time for me to brush my teeth, give Nate his goodnight phone call, and get some much needed rest. And look forward to the next two days! Tomorrow is a new Grey's Anatomy, and Friday Nate comes home! Who could ask for more?