don't wanna forget come daylight

Happy day before Nathan's Birthday! Tomorrow we are having dinner at Shakertown. Very exciting. And I've eaten well enough today and yesterday that I feel I can manage a nice dinner out. Besides, I know I can just get the fish and veggies and be generally okay. (Oh, but then there are yeast rolls!)

Today was a good day. I ate really well. I got really hungry about half an hour ago. I know it was boredom hunger, but I was still hungry. I ate strawberries. Still the Starbucks drink and banana for breakfast (I was running late...more on that later). Chicken salad on spinach for lunch (so incredibly yummy) and this beautiful pizza concotion for dinner. I had a fiber one bar and a glass of milk for dessert. And then a cup of strawberries. So I stayed within my points for the day (if you count 1 point for the strawberries = 40 minutes of yardwork). Yay me!

Nathan and I planned on going for a walk this evening, but the storm hit quicker than we had anticipated. So we just cut down weeds (not pulled them out, but cut them in half and doused them with weed killer). It was work in it's own way.

Oh yes, almost late for work today. I had big plans to make this peanut butter-banana-honey wrap thing for breakfast this morning. Usually it doesn't matter if I'm a few minutes late for work, and it's a good thing because I'm usually 10 minutes later than my anticipated arrival time. But I had to be on time today because today was my evaluation (with my big 2.7% increment on the line). We were supposed to meet at nine, so I was there by 8:30, just to get everything in line. So he comes in at 9:40. I say nothing. Later in the day, he asks if we can do my evaluation tomorrow, to which I respond, "I thought it was today?" He gives me this story about how he didn't sleep very well last night and decided to sleep in a little. I wish I had those kind of allowances. I guess that's a perk of being the boss.

But no bitterness (okay, just a little) because I have a great weekend ahead of me. Tomorrow is a great day for our little family (the big 2-9 for Nate!). Then Thursday, we're heading to Lexington for the evening (I'll probably be in town about 4, Kent. But I was thinking of getting a pedicure, so I'll call you when I'm ready to come over. What time is good for you?). Nate has his big exam Friday morning (you'll rock baby!), then shopping and going back to good ol' Greenup for the Easter weekend. Zak will be in from Kansas. I am just very excited. I do wish we would be in our home church for Easter morning, but I'm sure I'll be inspired wherever we go.

I realize I may have sounded sad about the semi-retirement of my shoes. I am not sad. I paid good money for them, and they are for running. I love them, thus I must respect their purpose in life. And I am silly enough that wanting to wear them (and run in them!) will inspire me to keep up my habits. Yeah, I am inspired by shoes. I'm not logical.

Oh, for any fellow Alanis Morissette fans out there (and anyone who knows her has noticed many references to her in post and blog title), this video is hilarious.

I read a quote today that has really stuck with me. Some people dream of success...others get up every day and work at it. I am working at it. And this is helping. So thank you for reading.

running to stand still

I've made a decision that pains me greatly. Partially because I am in pain. I have decided to put off this running thing for 25 pounds. I ran at the park in Danville today, and had a lot of difficulty. I made the first half of the runs with relative ease. I was feeling really good. But then I started to lose feeling in my left foot, but I ran through it. Then I got an impressive cramp in the left leg. That's been two hours ago, and the cramp is still there. I think I need to take this slow. And I know I could run on a treadmill, but that's not what I want. I want to be outside. And if walking is what I can do outside, then walking is what I will do. Due to spending an outrageous amount of money on my "running" shoes, I am putting them away until I am in in fact running. See you soon, my beautiful Saucony ProGrid Triumph 4s!

My plan is to walk a lot, as often as I can, and improve the muscle tone in my legs. Hopefully that will go along with losing weight. I am sure that I will be a runner when I have less of myself to carry around. I am aiming to be running again by our anniversary, July 19. I think it is feasible to lose 25 pounds in that amount of time.

Especially considering the way I have been eating today. I really wish I would have taken food pictures today. I have done so well! I started the day with a Starbucks drink for breakfast. (It's Monday and I didn't want to resist, and I counted it.) Lunch was a peanut butter and banana sandwich and applesauce. I had a mini york patty as a snack. For dinner I had 2 eggbeaters and 1/4 cup 2% cheese in this flatbread stuff (that has a ton of fiber and is really good) and some grape tomatoes. I just had a bowl of Wheat Chex to round out my day. I feel really good about it. But, man, is my left knee-and-below unhappy.

Tomorrow is going to be a great food day. Starting the day with banana and peanut butter wrapped in the flatbread. I'm getting ready to make chicken salad (yummm!) that I'll eat on a bed of spinach. Dinner is still up in the air, but we've got fish here if we decide to cook. I'm very excited. I love the way it feels when I can control my life to the point of being able to control my food choices. I'm a little nervous about being at Nate's Mom's this weekend, but if I need to I can go to the store when we get there. It'll be fine. I just have to think about the running shoes that await me!

I am still reading Judith Beck's The Beck Diet Solution. At this point, I am absolutely loving it. I am too cautious to report that it is life shattering until I work the program for a while. What I really like about it is that it works with any diet, and she is a real therapist who just tweaks the skills we are taught to make them apply to losing weight. I am really enjoying it so far, and am starting to see a change in my thinking. I'll keep you updated as I stick with it.

I just feel so much better than yesterday. Even with the running postponement.

Time to make chicken salad! Have a great night and tomorrow!

hope for me yet

I am pretty impressed with my resolve to not pick on my body, and really impressed that I have generalized it to my spirit as well. I just finished yesterday's run. Just now. I just didn't feel like it yesterday. I was excited to run outside, but it was windy and colder than predicted, so we went out to eat and I just laid on the couch and watched 2 hours of America's Next Top Model. This is one of the times where before I would have quit and not ran again. I tend to have such extreme thinking, like if I didn't follow the running program to the letter, I wouldn't follow it at all. But I just ran today instead. Not a thought of quitting. Maybe that's because I've spent a fortune in running shoes and Nate would kill me if I quit. But whatever it is, it's working!

I won a spelling bee at work today. No big deal...my competition misspelled "genius."

The sermon I listened to yesterday talked about how we sing in order to be able to express our love to God in a way that speaking words can't do. That left me thinking about the songs I connect so much with my experience, My Savior's Love ("Let's sing #85 Papaw!"), In Christ Alone (preferably from Newsboy's Adoration cd), and so on. Today, in my car, I found a similar vibe from a song written as just a love song, that I have so often attached to Nathan. But today, I realized how much it speaks of God's love too.

If you could love someone like me, there's no end to the possibilities. Hopes and dreams push away the pain and regret. And loving you just lets me know there might be hope for me yet. (~Marc Broussard, Hope for me Yet)

In the times I wonder my worth, God knows. And who am I to question what God knows?

It's time for Wheat Chex, a shower, the Office, and a Grey's Anatomy repeat. And Nate home from class! And hopefully my crocs will get here soon...I know you're on the FedEx truck! Great night for me!