jealous of the moon

Today was my "Krissie Got a Job!" lunch celebraion. All in all, I think I really ate okay. I went significantly over my typical calorie intake of late, but I am still safely within what SparkPeople says should be my calorie range. Yay!

The party started with homemade Sangria. This was split between like 8 of us, so I really didn't drink that much of it. But it was really good.

Then came appetiziers. I love brie, fruit, and bread.
Nothing says Par-Tay! like roasted red pepper hummus. (Yes, I know I'm a dork.)
I think I did really well with the appetizers, as my plate looked like this: (Don't you love my Incredible Hulk plate?)

Then I made Beef and Burgundy. Now there's a little more butter than I usually cook with, but I am choosing this as a Celebration food. And that's okay. I ate one ladle full, over about 3/4 cup of brown rice, so all in all I think I did really well.

My dear friend, Nicole, is aware of how I'm trying to be good. So she made this Pineapple Cake. It's angel food cake, whipped cream, pineapples, sugar free pudding mix, and strawberries. I could have eaten it all day. But I had a slice at the party, and another slice for dinner.
For dinner, I also had two more small slices of brie, a strawberry, and two little slivers of bread. And a small mocha latte from Starbucks.

Nathan is at the gym. I feel terrible for not going, but I am exhausted. It was a long day. A good day, of course, but entertaining exhausts me. It's 9:30, and I'm getting ready to curl up in bed with a book.

It blows my mind how exhaustion changes my entire attitude. I know I did very well food-wise today. We had a great time with our friends. I have a job! I have an amazing husband. But being too tired to go to the gym makes me feel like a total failure and makes me want to attack the leftover hummus. That is why I need to go upstairs, away from the kitchen.

where did you get those high top shoes?

Hello Wednesday!

Today has been rockin'. And I have the battle scars to prove it. Unfortunatley, I have been unable to get photographic evidence of my injuries. I really wish it were warm here in Kentucky so I could wear a skirt and I could answer the question, "Where did you get those bruises?"

Well, I'll tell you.

My first injury came from this machine. I had pulled the peg that makes the little pads swing from the outside to the inside of my thighs. Well, somehow it banged my shin. I have a few scratches, and something that may be a bruise.

And then, for my final machine, I stopped here. I was a little ambitious, I'll admit. I did more weight than I probably should have, but I was in true Jillian mode. So when I finished my leg presses, and I swung my legs off the machine, they went more quickly than I had anticipated, causing contact with where my feet were, and leaving a nice scratch on my right knee, not far above my bruised shin. (Nice run-on sentence, Krissie.) (Oh yes! Thanks for noticing!)

As I was tending to my battle wounds, I realized that I *almost* have definition in my legs. Almost! And I've been doing this for, what, 3 weeks? How different will my body look in 3 months? I am totally psyched. (Oh, I spent 15 minutes on the treadmill, 30 on the Arc trainer/Elliptical Machine-Thingy, 15 on the bike, and 40 doing the weight machines.)

Tonight, to celebrate my employment, my friends, Nathan, and I are going to Regatta after Bible study. I'm thinking I can be pretty well-behaved: a cocktail, a salad, a grilled fish, (or maybe shrimp!) and a steamed veggie. And then the 5 of us can all split one dessert. I think I hae my evening planned!

Have a great day everyone!

you haven't worn the old one yet

Krissie got a job! Krissie got a job!

I got Job #1. The one I really wanted. I start on February 4th. I'll train for a week or so (probably staying with my parents 'cause I'll be in that area) and then I'll be spending 2 weeks in Atlanta.

That is very exciting, but stressful, to me.

What will I eat? What will Nathan eat? Will I be able to keep up my gym habits?

Okay, to be honest, I'm more concerned with what Nathan will eat than what I will eat. I know he's a grown man (thanks for reminding me, Mom), I know he can cook, I know he knows where Chic-Fil-A is...but I like taking care of him. No, I LOVE taking care of him. He does so much for me. He shows me so much unconditional love. And one of the ways I show that back to him is in cooking. So I'm cooking huge meals and stocking the freezer. He won't even know I'm gone!

Speaking of new job, I will have to slowly fix my wardrobe. I have been working in a very casual environment. I wore my favorite gray lounge pants to work weekly. That can't happen now. I'm in a professional environment. I realize that I will be doing a lot of repeating, not only because I don't have the financial means to purchase a new wardrobe, but I'm not going to be able to wear my current size for much longer anyway.

My current size. Sigh. What exactly is my current size? I don't have any idea. I wanted a congratulatory employment gift today. I went to Kohl's looking for one of these (they were in their ad this week), but of course, they didn't have any. They did have several pieces in my motivation to be thin: the Simply Vera line. I ended up buying an awesome gray sweater (no link - I can't find it online) for $22. And it was a Large. Not XX, not even X, just L. I realize it was probably a fluke, but I have poured myself into XXLs for a LONG time. I feel like this was my first L of many. (Don't tell Nate, but I also spent $20 on a grey and black dress. It was an XL. But it is HOT.)

My plan for the evening is to spend the Biggest Loser 2 hours at the gym - 1 hour on the treadmill and 1 hour on the bike.

Now it's time for me to make dinner. I'm very excited, but you'll have to check out my food pictures later to see it.

Where are my food pics, you ask? They will be here from now on. I mentioned several days ago that posting food pics is kinda an excuse for me to be shallow here to meet my self-imposed daily blog requirement. No more. You'll have to click on the link on the right for "Tryin' on a Brand New Dress." You won't be disappointed.

Keep rocking ladies!

hold on to that feeling

So, today, Krissie is officially a party pooper. And okay with it.

We go over to a friend's house to watch football (which I do not understand at all). The plan was to fix dinner. They were kinda set on brats, potato salad, chips, beer - typical football food. But they gave me an option, "But that's probably not what you want, right?" Right. Somehow, chili came up and everyone pretty much seemed happy. It's too cold to grill anyway.

So football is watched, chili is eaten which of course leads to talk about farting, and I say that it's time for us to go to the gym. Before ice cream, before the board games come out, it's time for us to go. Nathan was a trooper, put up no resistance, and home and to the gym we went.

One one hand, I felt like a jerk. We are social. We love our friends. We were leaving as the festivities continued. And I had to pull Nathan out of a good time as well.

But on the other hand, I felt victorious. I was not indulging in a scoop of banana split ice cream. (Who am I kidding? I wouldn't have stopped at one.) I was choosing to spend 60 minutes on the treadmill and 60 minutes on the bike. Did I mention that I only had 1 bowl of chili, and it was significantly less full than anyone else's at the table?

I chose what needed to be done ahead of what I wanted to do. Scratch that. I chose what I wanted to do. I wanted to go to the gym. That blows me away. I WANTED to go to the gym. And I put what I wanted ahead of any obligation I felt.

No food pics today. Sorry. Sometimes I think that I use them as a blog crutch - like I don't have to say anything as long as I have nice pictures to look at. I'm still taking pictures, though. Breakfast as 2 eggs, 2 slices toast, 2 slices 2% cheese and an orange. Breakfast was a banana split sandwich. I had a small mocha latte for a snack. And chili for dinner.

Tomorrow is weigh day! Good luck everyone!

when all the colors mix together

Guess what I ate today?I remember earlier in this Biggest Loser season, Bob said it was okay to have dessert once a week, as he held a big slice of cheesecake. Weekly. I have not had dessert all year.

So after church, we went to Graeter's with our friends. I had planned on having some sherbert. But I changed my mind. Not on an impulse. Not because I was tempted. But because I honestly wanted chocolate.

I had a single scoop of Mocha Chip in a cup. And it was glorious. Amazing. Everything I had ever hoped a single scoop of ice cream could be.

And, better than the ice cream itself was my reaction.

Do I feel guilty?

No.

Does it make me want to totally jump ship and have ice cream every day?

No.

How do I feel?

I feel like I can handle ice cream occassionally, in moderation.

I don't feel like having a hamburger now. I don't feel like I have to go to the gym for hours on end to pay pennance for my indulgence. I feel like I had a scoop of ice cream. That's all.

Me. Someone who lives in a world of polarity. Either good or bad. Either 100% or zero. Black or white. But today, I had a shade of gray.

And I danced around in my gray area with my ice cream spoon.

we are forms of everything we love

Food Pictures!!

I gave in. Starbucks drink #2 for the week. It's better than one a day, though. And you sould be proud of me! We actually went to da 'bucks, and I got one of the refrigerated drinks over ice instead of my old standby - Venti White Peppermint Mocha. It is my standby no more! Lunch was leftovers from dinner. Shredded Cuban Pork, Mashed Sweet Potatoes, Cuban Black Beans, a little pineapple salsa, and sour cream. It was really good.
Dinner is Shrimp and Tomato Pasta. And it was good too!

(Just a note - anything recipe that I cook and post pictures of can be found at my recipe blog. On the first meal (not leftovers), I link the recipe as well.)

We took down the Christmas tree today. Rather, Nathan took it down. I found it a little too depressing. I'm sad that the holidays are over. But we went to the gym. I rode the bike for an hour. (I watched LA Ink. I wish I had the guts to get a tatoo.) My lovely husband ran part of the time. I'm just a little jealous. Then I did 20 minutes of arm weights, and they are pretty much jello now. It was back to being a good workout. I could have kept going for a lot longer. I felt much better than the defeat I felt the whole time I was on the treadmill yesterday.

Tomorrow is the big weigh in. I am very excited. I have had a really good week. I have eaten an average of 1377 calories each day. Over the 7 days, I worked out 6 of those days for a total of 7 hours and 20 minutes. Isn't that crazy? Mostly treadmill and bike with some weights and a little yoga thrown in. More important than my stats, though, is the way I feel. I feel so motivated. I feel like this is already habit for me. We are going to work out. We just are. It's not an option, it's a ready made decision. And I feel like this is the most satisfied I've been with food in a long time. I'm cooking every day. I'm making it pretty. I'm not eating to being stuffed. I'm eating when I'm hungry, and I'm eating just enough. I don't miss junk food, although I did have a handful of mini-marshmallows the other night. It was a great splurge. Not a candy bar, or a scoop of ice cream, but 8 or so mini-marshmallows. I feel great.

I've been trying to decide exactly what sort of "plan" that I'm on. I'm recording what I eat on fitday and I am keeping a notebook that I write things down and count the points. What I am loving, though, is that I'm not figuring anything up until the end of the day. I am trusting myself to make healthy choices. And somehow I know that the numbers at the end of the day will be reasonable.

I have also done well with my resolutions. I have walked 7.3 miles. I have tried 8 new recipes. I am rocking 2008!

Weigh in is tomorrow, so we'll see just how much I rock. I'm off to paint my toes so they'll be pretty in the scale picture!