we climb on two by two

I can't believe how fast the weekend went by...grrrr.

We had a great day yesterday, as we cleaned out our pantry, which has actually been the closet of things we never unpacked from our move 2+ years ago. We took a car full of stuff to Goodwill and have almost as much to recycle or throw away. We started on our upstairs back closet, but it was full of stuff from our parents' homes, so the nostalgia slowed things down. I found a copy of the Suck List, a list that hung in my dorm hallway in college that documented 1001 reasons my best friend and I sucked. Some of it was hilarious. Much of it I didn't understand or remember, and some of it reminded me of how much I was stuck in a terrible relationship. I'm so glad Nathan rescued me from who I was. I was on the track to being a bitter and lonely person. I would have been much fatter if I was bitter and lonely, I'm sure.

Today we went to visit Kent in Lexington. For some reason, we drove around and looked in houses on the Tour of Luxury Homes. It is absolutely disgusting what houses are selling for a mere 40 miles from our current home.

Did I mention that I ate tons of crap today? A jerk chicken sandwich and chips for lunch at Cosi. Buffalo chicken sandwich, fries, and Pepsi for dinner at Ramsey's. Why do I drink Pepsi? I know it upsets my stomach. I know I'll pay for it all evening. But I do it anyway. Maybe I've learned my lesson this time.

So the contest is officially over! I have decided that the winners will each receive a copy of my "Kick off the Covers" cd and two random cds from my collection. Very exciting! For the winners: Email me your address (questionsfordessert at gmail dot com) and I'll get the prizes out to the winners by the end of the week! And the winners are:

1. Southern Fried Fatty
2. Aimee
3. Fat Bridesmaid
4. Marie
5. Token Fat Girl

It's time for a bath and bed for me. Four days of work, then Kansas for four days, one day off, and a new job! It's an exciting time to be me!

i used to say, "the more tragic, the better"

I don't always read footnotes. Sometimes they are uninteresting, but sometimes they really add to what I'm reading. And sometimes I don't really care where the information came from. But when the information isn't available is when I miss it.

I am an avid reader of Oprah's magazine. As discussed in a previous post, her show makes me want to eat for unknown reasons, but I love the magazine. In this month's, she has a little blurb from some guy names Chris Hedges in the Million Ways to Save the World section (page 79 for anyone interested). He talks about faith and how any faith that involves a loving God cannot encourage or support violence. Cool. But the he says this:

Finally, remember that Jesus taught us there are two ways to be rich: We can amass wealth or have few needs. Defy the consumer culture. Live simply.

I would like to have specific instances in the Bible to support this, but I totally buy it (buy it! ha!) and I believe that I have been feeling the tug to begin to live my life more in this manner. I have realized that our house is just too big for the two of us. Heck, we can have 4 houseguests and not even know they are here. We have accumulated so much stuff over the 2 years we have been in this ginormous house. And it's starting to feel like a weight to me. Live simply, Krissie.

I just finished reading Branded, and I feel guilty for buying anything at anywhere other than a thrift store. (But do you ever see plus sized clothing in a thrift store? Seriously.) Now I'm reading Nickel and Dimed and feel an even greater tug to use what I have more wisely. I have never had to call agencies and try to find where my next meal would come from. I have never had to scrub someone's floor. Especially not when they were watching me.

So I have too much stuff. I have books that I haven't opened in 10+ years. I probably have 25 purses, and shoes that I never wear, and boxes of clothes (that have tags and are multiple sizes too small), and 2 sewing machines, and boxes of who-knows-what. And, what do I plan to do about this? I purge. (Stuff, not food.)

That's right. I'm getting rid of my crap. It feels like shedding something. Like getting rid of the stuff will somehow help me get rid of all the weight (figuratively and literally) that I carry around with me all day. How can I expect my head and my body to make sense when I have closet doors that I don't want to open. My house and my stuff are in someway a representation of the me I am: clean and organized upon first look, but a mess once you start opening up the closet doors and looking in the corners.

So my plan:

• I am upping the anty on the contest. Not only will the 5 lucky winners (and right now only 5 contestants!) receive a "Kick off the Covers" cd of my own creation, but 2 bonus items. I'm not talking crappy stuff that no one wants. Things like books related to diet/food, maybe a nice handbag (I love Vera Bradley!), my mom makes her own candles and I have a ton of them, picture frames with my photography, things like that. Personal stuff. The stuff I would be putting in your gift boxes are the things that I am reluctant to part with, the things that I want to go to people who know me. And the fact that you read my blog shows that you know me. It's not too late to register! Respond to this post!

• I am starting the Core Plan with Weight Watchers when I get back from Kansas. That may sound like an excuse, but it is a plan. I will continue writing down what I eat and exercising every day until the trip. I do well enough making point-friendly choices on vacation, I think trying Core would push me over the edge and cause me to throw up my arms in defeat.

• I will clean out a closet a week until the move. I will leave no stone unturned, no box unopened. I have the goal of gifting/donating/throwing away 2/3 of my current belongings. If I haven't used it in a year, it's gone. (Goodbye masses of Clinique free gift makeup bags!)

Thank you for listening and good night.

(Footnote: Nathan thought this post should be titled, "This town needs an enema!" I initially agreed. But, upon further consideration, I thought that it was obnoxious in big letters. I also didn't like the departure from song lyrics to movie lines. I mean, if I was doing movie quotes, every title would have something to do with brake pads or turning into toads. Nathan then suggested the song for the title, and it was successful. He was also very gassy during the entire conversation.)

when I'm lonely or on my own

When I was a teenager, we had a pool in our backyard. My brothers, friends, and I played volleyball sometimes. One of my most vivid memories from that time is that we would often break into random song. If we missed the volleyball, we'd start singing,"I Missed Again" by Phil Collins. (Hence the very random title of this blog.)

Today I am not missing. Today I am going to Weight Watchers. I'm sure the number will be frightening, but I am going.

I'm tired. I'm tired of not doing this right. I'm tired of doing thisngs halfway, and then quarter way, and then not at all. I'm tired of not giving to myself what I give to other people. I am smart. I am successful. I can lose weight. But I tend to put other things ahead of that on my priority list. I like tv. I like to sit on the couch. I like chocolate and hot dogs. I like scrambled eggs (with cheese and bacon on toasted bread). I need to peel off all these horrid layers of laziness and gluttony and become the person I know I am.

One of the things I love is music. Music gets me going. It makes me want to run (sometimes). It makes me want to go. So I am sharing some of my favorites with you. Being under a lot of weight is like being under heavy covers, and I'm done with that! In honor of peeling off the layers of crazy, I am offering you a selection of my favorite cover songs. So here's the deal.

You have one week to reply to this post and just let me know that you are entering the contest. I will create 5 copies of the musical masterpiece and will choose 5 random replies (I'll number them, and choose numbers out of a hat or bowl or something else round). I know I may be flattering myself that 5 people out there will actually want my cd, but I can hope.

I will choose the lucky winners next Sunday, June 9, and get the cds on their way!

So I'm getting back on the scale today. I'll share the good, the bad, and the ugly tomorrow.