but I know I ain't the same

So I was laying in bed this morning, between my early alarm and my snooze alarm, thinking about how awesome my life is.

I love my husband. I love my family. I love my house. I love my cats. I love my car. I (pretty close to) love my job. I truly have an amazing life

I had decided that I was going to truly love me for me. I was going to stop this charade of trying to change but failing. I was going to be fat and happy.

And then I stepped on the scale.

227.6 - from 222 2 weeks ago.

What?

So much for the "happy" part...

or am I part of the disease

Boo blogger!

I was going to have a nice photographic post of my favorite things...complete with Nathan, jewelry, Starbucks, and shopping! Oh well.

And why such a post? Maybe to avoid the mess that has become my health this week?

Oh yes.

We went home this weekend. I was just generally out of control food-wise. And I came home to a lack of lunch-type foods, and my out-of-control spiral has continued.

Why can't I just get it together?

GET IT TOGETHER, KRISSIE!!

That comment is not a yell, but rather a cheer or a rally cry. When my co-worker is particuarly stressed, I sing (in hymn style) "Get ye together!" accompanied by claps and occassional foot stomps. Why can't I apply this to myself?

I'm not frustrated or irritated. Maybe I'd be motivated to get it together if I were...

(Random question: anyone else watching Family Feud with Al Roker? Since when has Family Feud become inappropriate for family viewing? Giving a man sex or alcohol to quiet him down? Finish the phrase "shake your blank"? What is slippery when wet? Seriously?)

and I feel done

Okay, so there were no pictures taken at the wedding. Kinda strange, I agree. But we were really cute. And I only had a small piece of cake!

Yesterday was kinda difficult, though. Multiple "when are you having kids?" questions. Several fat jokes made in my presence about people who are less fat than me. Just not the best weekend for self-esteem. Thus a variety of brownies and a cookie dough blizzard today.

But, you know what? I'm not done trying. I'm not giving up.

Sigh.

have a cup of cheer

Nathan is playing "Holly Jolly Christmas" on his mandolin. Even though it's June. That man loves Christmas.

So I was a little ambitious with the 10-day blogging thing. We're spending the weekend with our parents, so I don't know about tomorrow. If I don't post, I'll still show pictures from the wedding we are attending. I'll show them either way, really.

Have an awesome weekend!

I was feeling part of the scenery

Okay, so I think I'm going to get this purse for our upcoming trip. But not in the brown. Do I want the pink (with grey lining)...
Or the green and blue?

Help me! Which do you think?

In other news...

Why I Love Today:

Food choices today were pretty good. (Check them out here.) I didn't exercise, but I'm taking small steps!

The one food weakness I had was free. All that happened was bad service at Starbucks, and that led to free drinks!!

I am really motivated to be healthy.

Three words: Old School Grey's. (Meredith and George did WHAT?)

Tomorrow is Friday!

Our anniversary (and trip to Asheville) is a month from today!

but it hasn't happened yet

So I've had several requests for hair progress pictures. Today was a curly day, so it's not too exciting. You know, I don't really like it right now, but I'm not giving up. I will not cut it. I made a decision to grow it out. I have really only had 2 severe urges to cut my hair - and I started the process in February. I am letting it grow. I've just got to figure out what to do with it during the rough patches - and it will be rough for a few more months. I know, I've been here before.

Nothing of real interest to share today. I didn't do much this evening. I had planned on going to look at furniture for our deck, but I ended up being lazy, watching reruns of Next Top Model, and getting caught up on my blog reading!

The great news is, despite several opportunities, I did not go to Starbucks today!

as small as I feel

Well, I've spent 10 minutes trying to load up the picture from "map my run" without success. So I just quit. It's not that important. And the landscape looks nothing like the picture I had. Anywho, this is what is important.

Nathan and I went on a 5K walk tonight. I left my phone on stopwatch right inside the front door. From door to door (counting locking and unlocking the door), we were gone for 1 hour and 17 seconds. We pretty much rock.

The really good news is that I did well with pizza for lunch (check out my food blog for more details). And I am excited and motivated for the first time in a long time...even after a 10 hour day at work. Oh yeah.

So that's all I know today. Ate mostly well. Long walk. Going to bed.